It’s something a lot of individuals cope with, but most don’t want to talk about – hearing loss and its effect on personal relationships. Hearing loss can create communication hurdles that lead to misunderstandings and aggravation for both partners.
With Valentine’s Day right around the corner isn’t it the perfect time to express your love and appreciation for your loved one? A wonderful way to do this is to talk to your loved one about your hearing loss.
Having “the talk”
A person experiencing untreated hearing loss has a 2.4 times more likely risk of experiencing cognitive conditions including dementia and Alzheimer’s disease according to some studies. A cascade effect that will inevitably affect the entire brain will be caused when the part of your brain responsible for hearing becomes less engaged. Doctors refer to this as brain atrophy. You know how the old saying goes, “use it or lose it”.
Depression rates amongst those with hearing loss are nearly twice that of an individual with healthy hearing. Individuals often become anxious and agitated as their hearing loss progresses according to research. The individual could begin to seclude themselves from friends and family. As they sink deeper into sadness, people who have hearing loss are likely to stop engaging in the activities they once enjoyed.
This, in turn, can result in relationship stress among mother and son, daughter and father, close friends, spouses, and other people in this person’s life. Communication problems need to be handled with patients and compassion.
Mystery solved
Your loved one may not be ready to tell you they are experiencing hearing loss. They may be afraid or ashamed. Denial might have set in. Deciding when to have the talk may take a little detective work.
Here are a few external cues you will need to depend on because you can’t hear what others are hearing:
- Sudden difficulty with work, hobbies, or school
- Turning the volume way up on your TV
- Not hearing significant sounds, like the doorbell, dryer buzzer, or someone calling their name
- Agitation or anxiety in social settings that you haven’t previously observed
- Avoiding busy places
- Avoiding conversations
- Repeated misunderstandings
- Complaining about buzzing, humming, static, or other sounds that you don’t hear
Plan to have a heart-to-heart talk with your loved one if you detect any of these symptoms.
What is the best way to discuss hearing loss?
This discussion might not be an easy one to have. A loved one might become defensive and brush it off if they’re in denial. That’s why discussing hearing loss in an appropriate manner is so relevant. The steps will be essentially the same but perhaps with some slight modifications based on your particular relationship situation.
- Step 1: Tell them that you love them unconditionally and value your relationship.
- Step 2: You are concerned about their health. You’ve read through the studies. You know that neglected hearing loss can result in a higher chance of depression and dementia. That’s not what you want for your loved one.
- Step 3: You’re also concerned about your own health and safety. Your hearing could be damaged by an overly loud TV. Additionally, studies show that increased noise can trigger anxiety, which might affect your relationship. If you have an intruder in your house or you’ve fallen down, your partner may not hear you yelling for help. People connect with others through emotion. If you can paint an emotional picture of the what-ifs, it’s more impactful than simply listing facts.
- Step 4: Make an appointment to get a hearing test together. After you make the decision schedule an appointment as soon as possible. Don’t delay.
- Step 5: There may be some opposition so be ready. You could encounter these objections at any point in the process. This is a person you know well. What will their doubts be? Money? Time? Doesn’t notice a problem? They might feel that home remedies will be just fine. (You recognize “natural hearing loss cures” don’t actually work and could do more harm than good.)
Have your responses prepared ahead of time. You might even practice them in the mirror. They don’t need to match those listed above word-for-word, but they should concentrate on your loved one’s worries.
Relationship growth
If your partner isn’t willing to discuss their hearing loss, it can be challenging. Openly talking about the effect of hearing loss on your relationship can help to establish a plan to deal with any communication challenges and make sure that both partners are heard and understood. By doing this, your relationship will get stronger and your loved one will take measures to live a longer, healthier life. Growing together – isn’t that what love is all about?
References
https://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/statistics/quick-statistics-hearing#
https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/hearing-loss-common-problem-older-adults
